Neutralizing Negative Dating Self-Talk - Workshop

Neutralizing Negative Dating Self-Talk Handout

-     (Excerpted and adapted from the book Self Matters; Creating Your Life from the

Inside Out) Exercise

Imagine you are scheduled to go on a date tomorrow and it’s the night before (If you really have a date that’s even better). Now jot down the self talk you have been having for the past 2 hours. Write down what you have been telling yourself about:

Your appearance
Your job
Your intelligence
Your  competence
Your skills and abilities
Your worth

Exercise 2

How would you describe your overall tone or mood of your internal dialogue? Is it positive, upbeat? Or is it pessimistic, defeatist, self condemning? Are there any areas where what you have written sounds especially harsh or critical?

Exercise 3

The Litmus Test for Your Beliefs

Take your beliefs and ask the following:

1.   Is it true?

2.   Does holding on to the thought or belief serve your best interests?

3.   Are your thoughts and beliefs advancing your and protecting your sense of wellbeing?

4.   Does this attitude or belief get me more of what I want, need or deserve?

Bottom line: If your belief doesn’t pass the test for authenticity, then dump it and dump it now.